


for lonely people, rain is a chance to be touched

by surge



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Living Together, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24398233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surge/pseuds/surge
Summary: The first time Juvia sees him, he's walking into class, top half literally bare. He's immediately sent back out the door by the professor, who— upon grazing his figure with his eyes— reduces into a stuttering, indignant mess.The whole class titters at the incident (making the blushing professor much more furious), but they forget about it quickly, going back to their notes, chatting up their next-seat neighbours.Juvia doesn't forget. He was handsome. Very handsome. She might even be in love.
Relationships: Gray Fullbuster/Juvia Lockser, Jellal Fernandes/Erza Scarlet (mentioned), Juvia Lockser & Gajeel Redfox, Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox (mentioned), Natsu Dragneel/Lucy Heartfilia (mentioned)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. year one

**Author's Note:**

> so i havent gotten back into fairy tail for the longest time, but i was reminiscing the whole anime phase i had when i was 11 and how i was literally ride or die for juvia, so here this thing is.
> 
> apologies if i get anything wrong (?) within the story + college life im not very well versed in that yet. i tried to make parallels to the actual storyline with gruvia. guilds are also essentially coffee shops (though not all members work there, they just frequent). also juvia doesnt hate every woman she sees as a rival, bc well— women supporting women!!!!!!
> 
> title is from simon van booy.
> 
> hope u enjoy :)))

**YEAR ONE**

The first time Juvia sees him, he's walking into class, top half literally bare. He's immediately sent back out the door by the professor, who— upon grazing his figure with his eyes— reduces into a stuttering, indignant mess.

The whole class titters at the incident (making the blushing professor _much_ more furious), but they forget about it quickly, going back to their notes, chatting up their next-seat neighbours.

Juvia doesn't forget. He was handsome. Very handsome. She might even be in love.

With her teeth around the butt of her pen, she watches the door for any sign of his reappearance— but he doesn't come back, not today.

-

The next time Juvia sees him, she still doesn't know his name but he's seated a row in front of her, a few seats to the left. He has clothes on this time: a very loose aloha shirt with the buttons undone down to (near) his belly button.

He's been sent to the back where she is because the professor was too distracted. When he first walked in, shirt agape, he sat in the front row, only to shock the prof with his display and once again, be stammered away from proximity.

At least he was clothed this time.

At least he can stay.

He takes notes throughout the class. Juvia can barely do the same.

\- 

He doesn't always come to class, but he usually does. He seems out of place for the course; Atmospheric Sciences doesn't look like his forte, but sometimes he answers questions, even though the prof seems reluctant to pick him— as to not have to lay eyes on the godly clavicle he keeps on display.

Anyway, he always answers correctly. Says the exact same thing Juvia's written on her page and it makes her smile, even though it doesn't mean anything but that they have something in common.

It's dumb, she knows, but she can't tear her gaze away from him.

She should probably figure out his name.

She goes to visit Gajeel at Phantom later that day, leaning against the counter when there's no customers, backing away when there is— all while pestering him with incessant questions as he makes latte after latte.

"It's not even your shift today," he grunts, back turned to Juvia, espresso steam blowing over his shoulders.

"You need the company," Juvia retorts.

Because Jose's cheap and likes to have his workers slaving away by themselves.

"Hey," Juvia starts, once a girl walks away happily with her frap, "would you happen to know this guy? He's got dark hair, kinda spiky—"

"No."

"Okay, but he has this necklace on all the time, with a giant cross, it's actually _huge_ now that I think of it— and he has this tattoo on his pec, but it's hard to describe—"

"If you've seen him shirtless already, how do you not know his name?" Gajeel cocks his head. "Wait— tell me you're not doing those anonymous college hookups."

"No! What? Of course not." Now Juvia's blushing and the ceiling's started to look really, _really_ interesting. "It's just—"

"What? You have a little crush?"

Juvia tries to sputter out an excuse, but what she manages is mainly a nervous laugh. 

"Whatever. Don't know anyone like that," Gajeel mutters, and wipes his wet hands with a rag. "Hop over the counter and help. I see a study group coming."

-

Turns out Gajeel was lying, or tempting fate, because a week later he's on the campus grounds, literally _on_ the ground, tussling with the half-naked guy and being simultaneously kicked by a guy in flipflops.

Juvia has to shoulder aggressively through the crowd to get to the front, which takes a while. When she looks down at Gajeel, she's extremely concerned for his face with the threat of its multiple piercings being ripped out, because without them he looks ten times more horrifying.

"Gajeel," she yells, though its nothing compared to the hollering of the onlookers. "Gajeel, get out—"

He probably hears and throws the next punch out of spite. There's a sickening crack that sounds when his fist collides with the cheek of Flip-Flop Guy, and the crowd hushes into silence, as he sways, and sways, and pitches onto his back with a sad thud.

The blonde that's beside Juvia gapes in shock. And while Juvia's pretty sure she heard her yelling for the fight to stop too, she immediately squares her shoulders and cups her hands around her mouth, screeching at the top of her lungs for Natsu to _kick his goth ass so hard that he'll like look like a fairy princess at the end of this._

Juvia flares up. Gajeel might be half-deaf due to the boxing of his ears, but Juvia might as well take the offense for him. She contributes her own suggestions, including pointers on Gajeel's stance. She even points out when a crotch is open for kicking, which Gajeel takes quite to heart. It's almost like they're in a Pokemon fight.

The men have started to bleed with every new hit by now, which is probably a sign that they should stop— but Juvia's too caught up in the commotion to care. She just wants Gajeel to win.

Even though he's not really doing that right now.

Gajeel receives a swift jab to his ribs from Flip-Flop/Natsu. He doubles over with a groan, sinking to his knees, coughing his lungs out, which is very, very bad for the acute case of asthma he has. He stays on the ground, trying to catch his breath.

" _Oh_ , you don't mess with family," Juvia hisses, and steps into the open circle to the ramping crescendo of _oohs_. She pulls back, just like she did when she was eight, when bullies decided to finally get a bit too cocky, and throws with all her weight, aiming right at Natsu's widening stare—

It collides with the Shirtless Guy instead. Really, in her head, she calls him the Sexy Guy, which is a persona he still maintains as his face is snapped to the side. There's a curdling moment of realization as a stark trail of blood begins to leak from his nose.

Juvia's frozen still. ~~Sexy~~ Shirtless Guy is too, because he looks at her with the most intense, fierce gaze she's ever had put upon her in her entire life. Blood drips over the bow of his upper lip, and Juvia feels an irrepressible urge to wipe it away— with her fingers, mouth, anything.

There's a pained wheezing behind them, and Shirtless Guy breaks eye contact to look down.

On the ground, Gajeel gasps and waves a frantic hand in the air, trying to signal for something. 

Juvia flinches. He's never been too good at Charades. But she remembers and blurts out, "Inhaler! He needs his inhaler," trying to look around for where he could've dumped it, because it's obviously not on his body.

A sound comes out a Gajeel close to a whine. By now, the fight's obviously over; 90% of the crowd has dispersed back to their daily paths, on their way to class or a lab or the communal dining hall. 

A petite girl, with frazzled hair pushed back by a headband, steps forward. "Where is it?" she asks softly, and Gajeel waves her over to the opposite end of the quad.

She crosses over to where the lone, weathered messenger bag lays against the wall, and points to it, just to make sure.

"Y- _eah_ ," he chokes out with a scowl, almost offended that she had to check.

But the girl just gets to work, rummaging through its many pockets until she extracts the inhaler, which Gajeel's painted black and adorned with metallic studs.

"You're too nice, Levy," Natsu yells after her, cradling a bruised arm. 

"You're _very_ nice, and that's why I love you," the blonde yells in tandem, and jabs Natsu where his bicep's stained purple.

Levy just laughs as she hands Gajeel his inhaler. He mutters a quiet _thanks_ after he recovers. She grins and starts a conversation, but it's too quiet to hear. Doesn't matter anyway, because Juvia's still staring at Shirtless, who's very adamantly refusing to do the same.

He finally swipes away at the blood that's been leaking out his nose, wiping it against his torso.

"I'm so sorry," Juvia finds herself saying, stepping forward even though she has nothing to offer. "Are you okay?"

He nods curtly, so quickly Juvia's sure it didn't even happen, and steps away.

"Ha. Frickin' dumb ass, what kinda man has a messenger bag?" Natsu jeers, stumbling over his own feet.

"A real man, seeing that you're punk ass little boy," Gajeel spits, and now there's a spatter of blood on the cobblestone and also (but hopefully not) a tooth-shaped object.

Levy giggles at this, and Natsu pouts childishly, wounded both physically and emotionally. The blonde, who has a very nice pair of zodiac earrings on each lobe, rolls her eyes and pulls Natsu away. Shirtless follows after them.

"How are you feeling?" Juvia asks Gajeel, kneeling by his side, still watching the disappearing trio.

"Levy, you coming?" the blonde turns back to ask, to which Levy answers, "No, I want to see how I can help." 

They bid farewell, saying _they'll see each other tonight_ , so one can only assume they're roommates. Distantly, Natsu says to Shirtless, "You didn't have to take that punch for me."

"Not my fault you're too damn weak," comes the reply. 

Juvia flinches away from Gajeel's side. Not that he notices, because he seems quite transfixed on counting the amount of bruises he's accumulated. It's just that then, _just then,_ was the first time she's heard his voice. Does he always sound this cold?

Was that her fault?

"I bet you're expecting payment for this," Gajeel grumbles at Levy. 

"Oh! No, don't feel obliged—"

"Let's get her a coffee," Gajeel insists, trying to lift himself off the ground but failing egregiously. 

"Let's not go to Phantom," Juvia cringes, "our drinks aren't even that good."

"That's because you add too much water."

"I do that to wash out the horrible, horrible taste."

"Hey, we could go to Fairy Tail," Levy pipes up.

"What?" Gajeel grimaces. By the name alone, he's probably thinking it's a cutesy place he won't be able to stand, but Juvia's interested. It sounds nice, even though Levy's provided no detail. Much less intimidating that Phantom Lord, a name Jose defends at every moment at the request of absolutely no one.

"Let's go." Juvia grins at Levy, taking her hand warmly.

They have to pull Gajeel off the ground first, though, and that takes a while.

-

Turns out Gray frequents Fairy Tail too. In fact, they all do, and they all grew up together and went to the same secondary school. Juvia and Gajeel wouldn't know, but they can relate; they both came from the same small town no one's ever heard of. 

That's his name, by the way. Gray. Gray Fullbuster, and once Levy tells her, it lodges itself at the back of Juvia's mind.

"Is that the guy you were trying to find?" Gajeel raises a brow, his heavily-ringed fingers wrapped around a hot cappuccino.

"Yes," Juvia admits, and adds for Levy, "We have a class together."

"And he stood out to you because he's always shirtless?"

Juvia laughs and twirls a strand of her hair against her better judgment. "I mean, he did catch my attention." 

"Because he's hot?" Gajeel sneers taking a long sip of his drink.

"Didn't know he was your type." Juvia smirks and Gajeel close to spouts out his coffee.

"But is he yours?" Levy asks coyly.

Juvia flushes. Thinking about it— maybe he is. Maybe she does have a thing of tall, dark, brooding men, and it helps that Gray happens to be half-nude most of the time. Maybe. He's not unlike Bora in looks, who dumped her for being moodier than him, but Gray— he seems to have less conceit written all over his face.

"Levy! Did you just come in?" A high, songbird trill of a voice interrupts Juvia's stream of thought, and it belongs to a beautiful aproned girl with bright eyes.

"Mirajane," Levy politely beams, getting up and out of her chair to embrace the barista that's approached their table. "Didn't know you were working today."

"Yes, well, I had to take over for Mak," Mirajane explains. "He's off trying to figure out how we can renovate this place."

"I like Fairy Tail just the way it is," Levy sighs. 

Juvia agrees. There's a rusticness to this place, and even though it looks more like a pub than a proper cafe, it's perfect. It feels genuine. The atmosphere's warm; there's a pair of friends squabbling near the dartboard, a couple with a kid watching out the window. 

Juvia can even imagine Gray sitting at a corner booth, lazing beside an ecstatic Natsu. She can imagine Lucy still yelling at Natsu, but this time, instead of cajoling him out of violence, it's to slow down his appetite.

"Hey, are you going to introduce me?" Mirajane prods cheekily. She's looking right at Juvia and Gajeel, the image of sheer friendliness.

"Oh! Yes, this is Juvia Lockser and Gajeel Redfox. They're first years like me, Juvia, you're in—"

"Meterology."

"And?"

"Mining engineering," Gajeel grunts.

"That's a nasty bruise you got there," Mirajane tuts.

"That's Gray's fault," Levy says. She goes on to explain the premise of fight (apparently _no_ , there isn't a dragon in the tale of King Arthur like Natsu remembers). Mirajane appears neither surprised nor concerned.

"They always do that," Mirajane exhales, hands on her hips. "I feel almost responsible."

"Aw, _Mom_. I know you'll give them a good scolding," Levy coos.

"I will," Mirajane promises Gajeel, who's on the verge of releasing a groan because he's been babied by women all day. Juvia shoulders him as a reminder to maintain his manners.

"You're the belle of Fairy Tail, you know that?" Levy says.

"Well, I'm not sure about that. But if I have any power as a barista, there's something I can do for you two." She digs into her apron pockets, slipping out two stamp cards. "Welcome to Fairy Tail." She winks.

Juvia takes it. Mirajane gives her a blue stamp in the first box for her drink, then an extra one, just 'cause.

-

Once Levy and Lucy find her in the dining hall, they never leave her alone (literally, in the context of every meal).

"Gajeel doesn't have a meal plan?" Levy asks innocently, during their first dinner together.

Juvia, slurping down her Russian borscht, shakes her head no.

Lucy nudges Levy mischievously but Juvia's too hungry to make any note of it.

"He's working tonight," she explains, once she's done with her soup. "He's gotta pay somehow for all the piercings he gets."

Levy and Lucy burst into giggles— and for a moment, Juvia's shocked at the warmth of their reactions, before she breaks out into her own smile. Here she thought they pitied her for eating alone. Here they seem to enjoy her company.

"I think they're cool," Levy shyly confesses, scratching her fork on her finished plate.

Lucy looks amused. "I'd like to see you with septum."

"What? I could never pull it off," Levy waves her hands in the air.

"You totally could. Edgy librarians are in," Lucy says, popping a carrot in her mouth. 

Juvia's told that Levy's in Information Resource Management, but her end goal is to take on a Master's for Library Sciences. Lucy's a Creative Writing major, which is pretty impressive, knowing that the program is a total grind. She almost went into Astronomy, she explains, but that was because she's avid astrologist and they're not the same thing anyway.

Not counting Gajeel, they're now the only friends she has on campus. Technically, the only friends she has at all. 

It's nice. 

"Hey. You and Gajeel should come to Natsu's party on Saturday," Lucy off-handedly mentions one night.

"Does he have a fight planned?" Juvia asks tepidly. She rather not step in to wreck someone's face again.

But yet again, if Gray's going to be there, maybe she'll reconsider.

"No. He's fine. I've talked to him about it, and honestly— he thinks you're cool, Juvia."

"What?" Juvia's tongue trips. 

"Yeah. He respects you for absolutely wrecking Gray. You know, he was gloomy about it for the rest of the day."

"What?" Juvia finds herself repeating, this time a bit more hurt that she means to be.

Lucy's eyes widen. "Oh, he's usually like that. I mean that you made an impression."

Juvia's cheeks heat up. "Did I?" 

"Sure. Definitely memorable." 

Juvia tries to ignore the seed of disappointment in the pit of her stomach. Why did it have to happen like this? Of all the ways she fantasized officially meeting him, it _had_ to end up as her punching him in the face to make herself known. Juvia understands that it's a memorable introduction, but when Lucy says 'memorable', she's hoping she means that in the good way. "Where are they right now?"

"They're not on a meal plan," Levy answers. "They always eat at Erza's place. They hog off on her cooking— which _does_ make sense, she's undoubtedly amazing with a knife."

"Erza?" Juvia asks, a bit confused, a bit unsure of what she's feeling, about the name and the tradition that's been made known.

"Scarlet. She's a History TA here." Lucy's voice turns into a tone of reverence. "They grew up closer than most, and they always pester her. She's totally badass, which is funny, seeing that the boys haven't rubbed off on that after all these years."

"She sounds cool," Juvia murmurs, closing her mouth over a piece of bread.

"She'll be at the party. You can meet her there." Levy waggles her brows.

"Okay. I'll be there."

"Make sure Gajeel comes too," Lucy snickers, and Levy leaves the table to refill her drink, but as she walks away Juvia catches the hint of blooming cheeks.

\- 

It's a very lowkey party, contrary to Juvia's expectations. Natsu has a cat, which Gajeel's secretly delighted to find out about, but he still goes ahead and says, "My cat's better."

"Oh yeah? Can your cat fly?" Natsu scowls, and he actually goes ahead, picks up his mewling cat and tosses him in the air.

He lands perfectly on its feet, unfazed. Gajeel's mouth is agape, so is Juvia's, but no one else reacts. 

So it's probably a routine thing.

"Erza!" Lucy calls her over, and the statuesque redhead that's caught Juvia's eye since she came through the door comes over. She has a serious gaze, one that softens when she meets Juvia's.

"Juvia, I assume?"

"Yes. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," and she smiles sharply, with a gleam that Juvia can only assume is like the Medieval weaponry she studies.

"Erza, where's the whiskey? Natsu won't tell me." A hand places itself on her shoulder, and she turns around with it still there.

It's Gray. He slacks once he sees Erza's company— Juvia, specifically.

"Hello." The word slides out of her mouth. She sees him as he was once, half a week ago, bloodied face, swinging necklace.

He doesn't say anything. Erza tells him it's in the top cabinet.

"Right," he eventually says, and the moment stretches out and he's suddenly aware of how glued his hand is on Erza. "Right," he says again, lifting it in the air, and he looks at the girls. "Anyone want a drink?"

"I'm good," Erza says, "Surprise me," Lucy pipes up, and Juvia thinks of what she wants.

Gray stands there for a moment, waiting, just like she hoped he would. 

"Whatever you're having," is what she ends up saying. He nods, and heads off to the kitchen.

Lucy beams at Juvia. "See? No hard feelings about the punch." 

"That was you?" Erza goggles, obviously impressed.

"It was an accident," she murmurs, running a hand through her curls.

"A very entertaining accident," Natsu hollers as he barrels into Lucy's side. She blindly yelps as she tries to regain her footing under Natsu's arm and continuous tussling.

"I feel really bad," Juvia stammers, "I don't even know how to make up for it."

"You don't," Natsu lolls against Lucy, "did you see me apologizing to Emo Boy over there?"

Juvia chew on her bottom lip. "I—"

Gray comes back, hands Lucy her peculiarly pink drink, and Juvia hers. Their fingers brush. She almost drops the glass. He doesn't notice.

"That's a lot of ice," Lucy notes, swirling it around. She downs half of it in a sudden, impressive swoop, and sours her face. "Gray, what'd you put in there?"

"You did say surprise me," Gray retorts, crossing his arms. His shirt's unbuttoned dangerously, just like in class, and his arms cover up most of the view.

"I didn't say to make it taste _horrible._ " Lucy squints, and Natsu takes it for himself to try.

It's too bad he swallows it too quickly, because nothing comes out when he tries to hack it out. "Lucy, I think _surprise_ means adding piss to the drink," he whimpers.

Gray whacks the back of his downcast head. "Asshat," he scoffs.

Juvia presses her fingerpads against her cool glass. There's an urge to press it against her forehead. Instead, she gingerly brings it to her lips, then tips it all back at once.

"Rum," she says after she swallows, rum with Coke, but she doesn't make the latter known.

"Classic Gray." Erza nods. "You should get more creative, you've been drinking that since we were sixteen."

"You guys were drinking at sixteen?" Lucy frowns. 

"You never raided your dad's wine stash?"

"Of course not."

By now, Juvia's learned that Lucy grew up well, but not with a kind father.

"You're too much of a good girl." Natsu pinches Lucy's cheek, softening the mood. He gets pinched back.

Juvia keeps her attention trained on her glass, listening in at the same time. Gray really did put too much ice in there. Cold sweat piles up against her palm.

"I'm surprised your shirt's not off yet," Lucy says to Gray, who's hasn't moved, still without a drink in hand. Juvia wonders why.

He rubs the back of his neck. "'S not like I—"

"He's just scared I'll pull his nips clean off," Natsu snickers, reaching out a hand—

Which Gray swats away. "Shut up," he grumbles.

"Whatever you say, Magic Mike. You can't resist the call of the night," Natsu teases.

"I'm— _not—_ an actual stripper," Gray hisses through his teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"You could be," Juvia blurts out. "Might as well be paid, right?"

The group's silent for what feels like a lifetime before they burst into laughter. Even Erza, with her mature regality, is reduced to near-tears.

Gray doesn't laugh. In fact, he opens and closes and opens his mouth, like he's looking for something to say.

Well, it's not like she's lying. Juvia should be embarassed, which she _is_ in a sense, but she meant it. As a compliment. 

It probably still doesn't make up for the fact that she punched him.

He goes to get his drink. They spend the rest of the night apart; at Erza's insistence, Juvia has to be introduced to virtually everyone on the premises, which takes up her entire stay. 

But Gray does have his shirt off by midnight. Juvia tries not to stare when she's not being directly asked the small-talk questions. 

She ends up doing that anyway.

-

They still have class together, of course. But most of the time, he comes in late and by then Juvia's too wound up in the lecture to notice. When she does catch him coming in, somehow he always arrives at a different time, like he has this randomized variable set in his schedule. He doesn't sit near her, or try to. 

Juvia thinks it would be normal, if he did. After all, all his friends are also hers. They were at a party together. He gave her a drink.

It's one day near the end of October when it's pouring outside, not like usual. Moving to Magnolia, she didn't expect rain. It's a perpetually sunny place, and good weather's one of the most attractive features of the region. She almost forgot that rain existed, even though it was all that happened back home.

She does have an umbrella stashed somewhere, but it's back in her dorm. When class ends, she tears her gaze from the window and sets down the hall to her exit, ready to cross the entire length of the campus to get to her next class. 

When she gets to the front doors, Juvia can't help but slow to a stop, wanting to listen to the patter of rain against the portico roof. She hasn't heard this in forever. With the emptiness of the grounds, devoid of jabbering students, it's singularly the only sound that floods her ears.

It's only been two months, and now it's back in her life, making her think of every instance that she had to walk home, stripped of her rain jacket. Having to get yelled at by her father for losing it again and again. That was always her excuse, in lieu of directing the blame to the bullies, who'd leave the bright blue of her jacket stained in next morning's mud puddles.

She closes her eyes to the white noise. Even though it made everything feel like _before—_ it was hers. Rain belonged to her, in some sense. She steps forward, anticipating the fall of raindrops on her face.

It doesn't come. She's pretty sure she stepped out far enough, which makes it weird. She flutters her eyes open, and there's a dark binder cast above her head, taking in the brunt of the weather. 

"Are you looking to get sick?" Gray berates her. The binder's small, it doesn't do much, so that means his body's taking in the rest of the rain. He's already sopping wet. His shirt clings to his frame, and it's like he's shirtless all over again.

But he doesn't move. He doesn't pull her back under the portico. He keeps on taking in the rain, and Juvia's almost jealous that he is.

"I don't get sick. I never do," she says softly. 

"You could," Gray insists, but they still don't move and she still doesn't tear her gaze from him.

"I have to get to class." Her hair's starting to feel somewhat wet. Gray's grip on the binder sways.

"Just skip," he tells her.

"I like Chemistry."

"You—" Gray stops himself, and pulls the binder away from over her. 

In an instant, rain flushes onto her and it feels holy. Her chin instinctively dips back and her throat bares itself to the sky. She closes her eyes again. "Do you have class now?"

A second of stubborn silence, until he says, "Yeah."

"You know, I don't _only_ like Chemistry."

"What?" he says, when she lets the silence fill up with rain.

She smiles, a million kisses on her lips, and opens her eyes, staring up at the dripping clouds. They're about to clear soon. Juvia can tell by the glow of their silver lining. The rain feels like tears on her face. The sky's completely gray, just like her mind.

"I like you, too," she whispers.

In an instant, the rain dies down. It's like a weight's been lifted, and Juvia's chest rises and holds.

"Don't be late," Gray mutters.

At this, Juvia opens her eyes to stinging light. The remainder of rain must've drowned out his footsteps. He's halfway across the quad. He doesn't look back.

When she gets to class, she's dripping so badly the prof says she's free to go change out of pity, and also concern for the mopping the caretakers will have to do if she stays.

The residency halls are mainly empty when she gets back. She takes Gray's advice, she might as well skip to wash her clothes, clean the floor of the puddles she's made. That only takes half an hour, so she decides against the well-to-do student inside of her, that she should continue skipping and reorganize her belongings. She even takes her umbrella out of the rickety closet that came with the single bed room she was assigned. Opens it over her head, even though Lucy would probably say it's bad, bad luck.

She spends the rest of the time she's supposed to be in class making a teru teru bōzu to hang from the umbrella's skeleton.

It doesn't rain again, but she leaves it out all year.

-

The next time Gray comes into class, he's still obscenely late, but chooses to sit beside her. They don't really talk, even with Juvia's efforts, unless it's checking notes with one another. She finds that this is okay. She even starts bringing him food. He refuses to take it for the first few weeks, but once he realizes most of it goes to waste, he relents. They have to sneak it under the tiny desk space they have, and cover for each other's crunching with rude coughs and fake sneezes— which doesn't do much for subtlety, but no one in the class complains and they're not reprimanded. They're a good team, Juvia says to him one day, and he doesn't react with anything.

It goes on like for the rest of the term. They see each other at Natsu's parties, at the dining hall when Erza refuses to feed them, at the science department's library and Fairy Tail when the whole gang meets up for study group.

Juvia sits beside him when she can. Stays by his side at every opening, because, well, it's easy to do so. She's probably told him everything about her life and all her thoughts. He doesn't share much in return. 

So she doesn't know what he thinks. He's unreadable. Everyone confirms that he's just like that, _all the time_ , but Juvia knows what she feels.

Even though all they can be described as is 'just friends'. 

This is how it is.

Freshman year ends. Juvia stays in town for the summer. Gray goes home.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come soon :)


	2. year two

**YEAR TWO**

It's two weeks before classes start up again when Juvia sees Gray. It's been around two and half months; the reality of his face is a cold shock to her system.

He comes during happy hour at Phantom; two p.m.. There's no alcohol in the drinks, the only limited-time discount Jose has ever allowed, and even though Juvia barely drinks anything that's created from the pantries, she feels drunk.

When Gray arrives at the counter, her hand slips and accidentally punches the cash box open. It slams lightly into her gut and there's a delay in getting it closed.

"Hey," he says. 

"Hi." Her cheeks stretch into a smile. It almost hurts, how she can't stop.

"Fairy Tail's closed," he says, like an excuse; an explanation for why he's here.

"I know," she answers. There's a line up forming behind Gray, but most of it don't seem to mind. They're mainly girls, ones that rake a complimentary once-over down his backside. Juvia deeply relates. 

But he's looking only at her. He doesn't say anything about the new look. His lips press themselves into a tight, thin line. 

Juvia wishes she could look at them. "I texted you," she whispers.

"Oh." He never answered. Yet again, it's not like he left her on read. Apparently he doesn't check his phone much, but he doesn't say that to her now. 

"What would you like?" Juvia asks.

"Sorry, what?"

"From the menu."

He's taken aback for a second, before he seems to remember where he is. In a coffee shop. In Phantom. With Juvia. "Just an iced coffee."

"Okay."

She goes to make the drink, pouring an extra drizzle of caramel syrup that's not technically allowed (Jose, once again, being a greedy bastard), but she knows will be appreciated. She adds extra ice, pops on the lid and a straw through it, even though the latter's usually left for 'normal' customers to do.

"On the house," Juvia says. Really, the drink'll be coming out of her pay check; that's how it works here. Gajeel's was being depleted for Levy, but now he's taken to building up a tab at Fairy Tail.

Gray's brow immediately furrows. He doesn't take the drink she's slid across the counter, her hand still wrapped around it for the slight, slight chance he'll take it like that. "You don't have to, Juvia." 

"No, I want to. It's alright," she insists.

Gray finally relents. It feels like forever until he does, that Juvia doesn't realize her grip on the drink has slacked. It's only then he goes to take it, quickly with a quiet _Thanks,_ and he pushes out the front door in a matter of seconds, leaving nothing but a gust of hot, sickly summer air sweeping in.

" _Finally_ ," a guy moans, fifth in line, and he's given three sharp looks for it, one of which include Juvia's.

-

To pass the time on the bus route home, Juvia thinks of Gray as she always does. She slips her phone out of her pocket, clicking on _PAST CONVERSATIONS_. 

**chat with gray fullbuster**

juvs : hey gray!! _2:04_

juvs: how are you? _2:05_

She scrolls down, looking at the other texts she's sent in tandem; all without their answers. Juvia spent the first weeks of summer, refreshing the page again and again, all while thinking about what Gray would probably say if he did respond. 

The bus screeches to a halt at her stop, and she hops off, taking the steep way up to the rightfully named Hills Complex. 

Now, she just thinks about what she could say tonight. As followup, of course. It'd be normal to do, right? _how was the drink? how was your trip back here? how was your summer?_

Juvia just wants to know. But it's okay. She can wait. Forever, probably, though that might be a bit dramatic.

-

She moved in at the beginning of summer, right before it started boiling. Erza had tipped her off on the available apartment a few floors down from her own, and when they're both free (Juvia doesn't have to work, Erza's electing to ignore her thesis for a few hours), they make house calls to talk, eat, drink, the sort.

It's one bedroom, one bath, luckily with a nice, big closet. Juvia barely had anything to bring in, so it took just a night to get everything sorted. From there, it was just furniture shopping. Lucy interfered, designating herself Juvia's interior designer.

That was June. 

July— that when Juvia got her pixie cut. She showed up at Fairy Tail the next day for the usual hangout, shyly hiding under a hat. Natsu, suspicious of the choppiness, had whisked her cap away, and when her usual curtain of hair didn't cascade down, everyone gasped. And then they complimented her, adoring the new look.

 _You're become so different from when we first met you_.

Levy had video called her that night to confirm the rumours for herself. _You look amazing, Juvia,_ she had squealed from her childhood bedroom, where she was to visit her parents and former band members, who seemed to be missing her a bit much. 

_I never do much with my hair,_ Juvia admitted, _so this is new._ _Except for when I was twelve, actually_. _I dyed my hair blue._

Levy had laughed. _Are you kidding? I did too!_ She came back a week later. The girls met her at the airport. 

It's the end of August now. When Erza knocks on her door tonight, she has a bottle of champagne and news that Gray's back from visiting Isvan. 

"I know," Juvia grins, "I saw him today."

"Really? Apparently he arrived in the afternoon, got a taxi. Did he forget he has friends with vehicles?"

"What time did he arrive?"

"Two, I think. I was free then. My Volvo was free." Erza tskes.

It's started to cool down. It'll stay this way, temperatures suddenly and drastically drop at the end of summer in Magnolia. Juvia learned this in part during one of Atmospheric Sciences' countless lectures, as did Gray.

She asks if Erza knows which courses he has for this year.

-

She's sitting in a corner booth, nestled with a cup of steaming fruit tea, intently reading a soapy romance novel that Lucy recommended with distaste. 

_It's horrible,_ she grimaced. _I couldn't tear my eyes away_.

In Juvia's opinion, it's not that bad so far. A lot of wizards, but she can work with that.

She's lifting the mug to her lips (it's her own, kept at Fairy Tail because Mirajane maintains it's a tradition for all regulars) when a shadow eclipses the natural light she's been using to read.

"Wow."

Juvia jolts. There's a guy standing by her table, mouth agape in awe.

" _Wow_ ," like she didn't hear the first time, "you're gorgeous."

Juvia's taken aback. But for some reason, she can't seem to flush or even properly react. 

She's just utterly surprised.

"I'm Lyon," he grins, offering a hand. When she takes it, he deftly clasps and lifts it up to his lips like the perfect gentleman. His mouth is soft against the back of her hand, as she feels him press his smile on it.

Well. Juvia hasn't been treated like this in forever. Or at all.

She doesn't know what to say but settles with: "Thank you." She laces her fingers once they're returned, to resist rubbing away his touch.

But Lyon chuckles, not moving an inch. There's something about him that's familiar, maybe in his posture. He's handsome, yes— maybe to other girls, but the reason Juvia's staring at him is because she's trying to figure out why. "Your name?" he inquires, and it keeps surprising her how good he is at this, how smooth. 

"Juvia," she says plainly.

"Beautiful," he lapses, "both you and your name."

"Oh."

He slides himself right into the booth and into her business. "Do you come here often?"

"Yes, I do. It's home," Juvia murmurs.

"I'm starting to think I should too." Lyon props both elbows on the table, and looks at her book, about to open his mouth— 

"What the hell are you doing?"

Juvia's heart skips a beat. She knows that voice.

"Gray. You know Juvia? She comes here often, she says." Lyon flashes a smile at her.

"I know." Gray's brows knot together. "Answer my question."

"How do you know each other?" Juvia asks instead, when Lyon doesn't answer. He seems to be taking in Gray's demeanor a bit suspiciously. This is how he always is, Juvia wants to say.

"How do you?" Lyon drawls, not pulling his stare from Gray.

"We were foster brothers," Gray explains, and Juvia realizes he's doing so for her.

"Were? Ouch. I thought you hating me was a lifelong deal." Lyon sneers.

"I don't hate you," Gray scoffs, and for a moment Juvia's heart swells. "I just think you're unbelievably inferior to me." 

It doesn't necessarily unswell, but yeah, Juvia's heart patters a pace quicker in anxiety. She probably shouldn't be caught in the middle of this. Yet again, she really, really wants to be. 

"I'm here to return your jacket," Lyon says matter-of-factly, lifting himself off the plush and worn booth. Juvia notices the white overcoat bundled by his side, something she failed to catch sight of when Lyon, very distractingly, flirted with her.

"You spent summer together?" Juvia tilts her chin up at Gray.

Lyon answers for him. "Two months stuck with this bastard and our older sister," he snorts, rolling his eyes.

Gray narrows his own. "She's not our sister—"

"What is up with you?" Lyon snarks, cutting him off sharply.

"Nothing. Just—" He opens his hand, waiting for his property.

Lyon passes it over, scoffing, " _You're welcome."_ Gray's turned around by the time Lyon even says it, leaving Fairy Tail and letting everyone watch him go.

She spends the rest of her stay in the cafe with Lyon, politely chatting, though he doesn't seem to ask Juvia many questions. She does try to ask about Gray and how they grew up together, but he brushes it off smoothly, so much that the more Juvia tries to ask, the ruder she feels. Lyon just wants to talk about work, co-workers, the nice city he lives in— which is only an hour away.

"You know, my schedule makes me free on weekends. I could come by," Lyon gestures casually, but his eyes give him away.

Juvia knows the look. She feels it most of the time. "I'm usually busy on weekends. Shifts."

"Oh." He looks disappointed. "Whenever you're free then."

As she returns to cup to the front counter so Mirajane won't have to collect it later, she muses on the thought: If she said _Yes_ , is that what life would be?

Without Gray?

-

He wears the jacket a week later. She sees him swathed in it as he stalks past a crush of freshmen, still naively huddled around campus maps, unsure of where their next seminar might be.

She picks up her pace, trying to catch up to Gray, but she fails miserably— thanks to the scattering of freshmen. She shoulders and bumps into a few people, and Gray's too far gone by the time she's free.

He had texted her, the day she met Lyon, saying that _he's a waste of your time_.

After all those texts she sent, those words had to be the first thing he said back. And they were words that she couldn't conjure an answer to. It racked her mind so hard that she had to wash her face and take a moment to lay down in bed, trying her best not to cry out of confusion and frustration.

He could've asked her anything. She would say yes. Even to this.

But this wasn't a question.

It was just something she didn't understand.

-

She's invited to Erza's place for dinner these days. 

Jellal's another newcomer. He's a visiting professor. It's fate too, seeing that the course he was invited to teach at the University of Fiore is a specialization that ties in directly to his childhood friend's area of study: Astronomy in the Medieval Era.

So apparently Erza audits all the time. Apparently Jellal always has some reason to stick behind after Erza's meals, when everyone's full and bustling out the door.

Gray sits beside Juvia these dinners. No one leaves space for him anywhere else. It's one night when he sits down, late from class, it's six p.m. and Erza _insists_ everyone stay at the table while she brings food in (which is a command that apparently doesn't apply to Jellal). 

Juvia's already eased out of her conversation with Natsu and Lucy, who remain wrapped up in something about Happy's diet and the longevity of cats. Gray settles in the chair beside her, and Juvia unthinking says, "You look good today."

Gray blinks, his face completely blank. For a second, he looks shocked. Embarrassed, maybe.

"Natsu, stop it," Erza scolds, and Juvia forces her chin to turn towards the scene of Natsu trying to steal a strip of teriyaki chicken from the plate Erza's lifting high in the air. 

Everyone settles, and Jellal grins softly. "Let's eat," he says, and Natsu and Gray take that as a cue to endlessly stuff their mouths.

-

Some days, Juvia wonders if it's always going to be like this. 

When it comes to _them_ , there's no question of _will they or won't they,_ the same way it applies to Erza and Jellal's hidden trysts in the college library. It's not like Natsu or Lucy, who have the _should they_ thing going on, considering their perfect friendship and kinda-there chemistry. Or Gajeel and Levy— they're already extremely obvious, but it's just a matter of _when_ they'll actually confirm it. No one would be surprised if they started making out in front of everyone; she basically sits on his lap every time they're together.

But for Gray and Juvia— well— it's not like that. It's telling by the looks the girls have, when Juvia strays a tad bit closer to Gray's side or places a hand on his shoulder. They put on their wistful smiles, not unlike the ones you give as you approach a crying, lost child.

It's dumb, isn't it? Because Juvia knows it. And she finds that she doesn't care. There's nothing else to do. 

Her phone wallpaper is a picture of everyone huddled close at Fairy Tail; she has her arms wrapped around Gray's neck and a peace sign beside his ear. 

She looks at it almost everyday, so much that even now, after all this time, it doesn't get old because that flutter in her stomach will never go away, which is good, she wants it to stay, the same way she will always want Gray.

-

She doesn't feel exactly like that tonight.

It's starts like this.

It's six months into second year, and there's a party. A bigger one. Somewhat fancy. There's not many people she knows here, and for some reason a few of them hit on her. It gets Juvia flushing warmly in the dark, but that might be a mix of the alcohol she's ingesting and the added fact that she knows it's because of the dress she was so embarrassed to wear tonight.

She was convinced to put it on by Cana in the end, who's hosting this party but nowhere to be found. The sharp slit she has riding up her thigh doesn't do much for modesty, but the blue silk of it makes her feel a bit more comfortable.

Juvia strolls on the balcony, empty champagne glass in hand, wandering through the night. She passes by a guy who's getting his tongue amateurly pierced even though it's two in the morning and pitch black outside— but yet again, it's not much better inside.

Juvia knows, because she's been trying to find Gray. She can only assume Gajeel and Levy have gone home (together, most likely) and the rest of the gang— they're all somewhere scattered around the grounds, she can't be sure. It's a nice and spacious place that Cana's rented. It's cliche, almost, the fact that Juvia's at a college party and it _is_ equal parts wild, loud and unpredictable. 

She never really thought she'd be invited to these things. Really, in a way, if she thinks about it deeply— she's only here because of Gray. Because she punched him and indirectly became friends with him.

She always wonders if he would say it the same way. 

"Juvia!" She jerks her gaze in the direction of the voice, it's Lisanna. 

"Hi," she answers quietly. The thumping bass drowns her out but it's alright, Lisanna reads her lips well enough.

"I love your dress." Her friend grins, winking. "You look _gorgeous_."

Juvia once again goes beat red, and it makes Lisanna giggle warmly, leaning in to whisper in her ear: "He's in the living room."

So she goes.

-

On the way home, she cries unstoppably. It rains for the first time this year, and it makes Juvia cry even harder, because _what the hell_ , it's February, it's supposed to _just_ be cold, another sickly reminder of the fact she didn't take her coat with her. Her tears blur with the rain. Her heart feels like it's going to fall out of her chest, leaking out the rest of what she's been trying so hard to keep for Gray.

"Juvia!" he calls. 

She ignores him even though it hurts, it hurts to not look.

-

She finds him on the couch in the corner of the living room, arm draped along the back. He's shirtless, yes, nursing a beer by himself. Brooding as usual. 

What shocks Juvia is the fact that when she approaches, he gives her a toothy smile. 

Then she realizes he's drunk. He's not blushing for her.

"Hi," Gray drawls, and a violent shiver runs up Juvia's spine.

The words push slowly out of her mouth. "Gray, you're really drunk."

But he just laughs and rubs at his face, avoiding questions as usual. 

"You should get home. I can call you a cab," Juvia offers, stepping a bit closer—

"No. Stop."

She does, frozen in place right by his knee. His necklace glints in the strobing lights, rising with his chest. "What would your parents think about you wearing this out?"

Juvia's brow tightens. "I don't talk to them anymore."

Gray hums, bubbling with laughter. "Thought so." 

And something in Juvia just drops. She flinches and steps back, finding herself so much more aware of the pressure she's been keeping on her heels. 

Gray notices and his smile disappears immediately. His gaze goes up to her face, which she currently can't control. His eyes bore into hers, and just like always—

He's unreadable. Entirely unreadable.

She realizes now, right in the moment, unreadable just means _cold._

"Finally," he says quietly, but still she can hear it over the rumbling music. There's a few other people in the room, but it feels like it's only them. He leans forward, head dipped, close enough for his hair to brush her stomach. She can't even move from her place. His finger traces the skin where it shows on her thigh, courtesy of the dress he so abhors. He's cold, she thinks, from the beer that's made him this way.

"Gray, why would you say that?" she trembles out.

The way he moves his finger might as well leave a mark. He opens his mouth in an 'O', waiting the moment out before he says, "It's pathetic, you know. What you're doing."

Juvia clenches her teeth. "Stop it," she chokes out.

"Stop what, exactly?" he bites back, a sneer forming on his face.

"Being— being such an _asshole_ ," she hisses, stepping away. 

"You're the one who should stop."

Juvia's eyes widen.

"You're better than all this," Gray says.

Here is when Juvia realizes she loves Gray. For reasons that hurt. She also learns here, that she will probably never stop. 

-

She's carrying her heels and stumbling on the slick concrete, the rain's ice-cold and completely numbing her feet. She's choking out sobs in intervals, audible to no one but herself amidst the downpour.

"Juvia!"

It is. It is pathetic. 

"Juvia, _please_!"

And she can't take it anymore. She stumbles to the ground, splashing her dress a darker blue. It almost looks gray in the glow of saccharine streetlights. She hates it, but she doesn't, it's all over her.

"Juvia."

She looks up. She stops rubbing at the soppy fabric bunched at her thighs. She didn't even know that she was.

This time, Gray has no binder to hold over her. Nothing at all. He just stands there, chest heaving; he's wearing a shirt _and_ a jacket, and it looks wrong on him.

"I'm sorry."

Juvia's neck creaks. She looks away, down at her clenched hands. Her nails dig into her palms, but if they're bleeding, she wouldn't be able to tell. It'd feel just the same as the rain.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For saying those things. For hurting you. I always do that, don't I?" Gray lets out a breathy chuckle, like he's surprised with himself. "I— you don't have to do all this to make up for the fact you _punched me—"_

 _"What?"_

Gray stumbles as Juvia rises, hands shaking at her sides. " _This_ ," she whispers, "wasn't— I wasn't—"

Rain drops and rolls down his cheek, gliding down the curve of his face to the corner of his lips. _I bet he cries the way ice sweats_ , Juvia thinks, and it's a thought that sticks in her mind.

She opens her mouth. "I love you. That's what _this_ has always been about. I love you." she says, her throat straining. "I'm not going to ask the same of you, I won't do that. You don't have to. I can wait. I can—" 

She's so cold. Her head throbs from the drinks, the conversations, the fact that Gray's looking right at her, the most direct look he's given to her in the longest time.

She falls. Right into his arms. It's 'pathetic' all over again but it happens and the thing is— he doesn't let go. He's warm.

-

She wakes up in his place, in his bed. She wakes up with a fever hot on her forehead, the A/C blasting all the way up, and yes— it feels right. What she felt last night, she thinks as she drifts in and out of consciousness, that was real. She loves him. She wonders where he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which gray says STOP SIMPINg JUVIA, ITS MY JOB AND WHO CARES IF I WANT TO DO IT SECRETLY


	3. year three

**PRELUDE TO YEAR THREE**

Juvia stays for six days in Gray's apartment. In those six days, he doesn't have anyone else over. In those six days, they both skip out on the costly classes they've been paying a fortune for. They remain in minimal contact with the rest of their friends. The reason for that, Juvia doesn't know.

But it's been good.

He only has one bed in the place. (No, nothing like that happens, though Juvia does spend fevered nights, red under the sheets, trying not to think of what would happen if Gray did cross the threshold to his own room, like he's done every night before _this_ happened. She doesn't try too hard.).

It's the morning after _that night_ when Juvia wakes, that she wakes feeling the presence of someone else in the room. When she gingerly rolls onto her other side, hair sweaty and still somewhat stuck on Gray's pillow, there's no one there on the mattress. The blanket's been tossed clear of the right though, up against her body. It makes her feel even hotter, even though the AC's blowing hard in her direction. When she places her palm on the empty spot, it's warm.

She gets up for the first time. Her knees feel weak. She leaves the room and rubs her eyes, remembers that she's never been in this apartment before but it looks just the way it's supposed to be. As if she's been here all her life. Beyond the door, there's the couch, and there's pillow there, part of a makeshift bed.

He must've slept there.

And in the next room, there's the sound of water pouring from the kettle.

Gray sits at his kitchen table, the one that goes half-used because of Erza. He has tea in front of him, and his arm curls around his mug to reach the keyboard he's typing away on.

Across from him, there's another steaming cup.

-

They spend mornings like that. Mid mornings watching the TV. Afternoons making lunch, though Gray tells her to sit aside at the table, where she talks and talks even though he discourages her by not answering, or just reminding her she should rest. He does the latter more. Sometimes he does it by stuffing food into her hand, even in her mouth, saying: "Might as well make up for all the food you gave me last year."

It's a bit obvious she's not really sick. It lasted the night, steeped a bit into the next day, but she's fine now.

(It's not brought up.)

For dinner, they keep ordering in, even though it's not good for Gray's student funds.

"Let me pay this time," Juvia insists, trying to shoulder past Gray to the confused, slightly scared delivery boy.

"Take this and _run_ ," Gray grunts to the kid, and he does run, probably not from Juvia's more than generous wad of cash and tip, but the dark, annoyed look on Gray's face that remains when he turns around with the bags in hand.

"Gray, let me set the table then," Juvia pleads, a wad of guilt lodging in her stomach. 

Gray just tskes. "We can just eat in front of the TV like always."

 _Like always_.

They do. Quite pleasantly. Even though Gray finds the _Blue Pegasus Dating Show_ stupid, it's rather funny to Juvia. It's nothing serious, just fun and drama and obviously scripted (and rather lewd) remarks from the host.

Because the thing is, with serious love— it's almost always found in fate. Not like this show. When she says this, Gray doesn't _not_ agree.

-

Here is something Juvia does not remember during these six days, and for many more days after them.

Completely cold, completely wet, Gray carries Juvia in his arms down the street. He doesn't know how long he's walked. It doesn't matter. 

His heart is thudding so loud, that with her head leaned on his chest, it must be the only thing that's keeping her awake. She's delirious. Her words are slurred, but he listens, he always does. 

She says, _Does it have to rain every time, every year I want to get closer to you?_

_Do I have to confess every time?_

He lays her in bed, not sure what to do about the dress. He stays by her side all night, meaning to leave but finding himself unable to.

-

It's on the fifth night, that Juvia's already assimilated to this, gets into bed in Gray's tee, and spies by the closet door: the fresh basket of laundry he did while she made dinner. 

Above it, is her dress. Neatly hung. Pressed.

Blue as a clear sky.

It's almost like it watches her when she goes to sleep. There's that keeping her awake, and the scuffle of sound she hears at two in the morning, that makes her dart up in bed. 

It's just Gray. Has he been here all this time? Juvia's vision focuses and no, he's at the door. He's just got here. Embarrassed to be caught. 

"I woke you," he winces.

"It's fine, Gray." Something pulls, deep inside her. Whether it's exhaustion, that feeling she has when she looks at him, she doesn't know.

"I just— I just needed to get—" He gives up. Looks at the empty spot beside her; Juvia only ever sleeps on one side of the bed. "Can I—"

Juvia mutely nods, fully awake. He lays down beside her, and even with six inches, he feels so far away.

"I bet you missed your bed," Juvia whispers.

Silence. They're both on their backs.

"I'm sorry for taking it from you."

Silence. She turns onto her side.

"Thank you," she whispers.

And silence, still. Juvia reaches out, placing a hand on his cheek.

He places his own atop of hers. It stays there, covering it entirely. She feels his jaw clench. Sees it in the dark.

"Go to sleep, Juvia," he murmurs. "You have class tomorrow morning."

He moves her hand away. 

In the morning, she wakes and he's gone. 

She wears her dress to class. Everyone takes a second look, but it doesn't matter. The only thing she can think about is the fact that she woke up to an empty apartment without a note.

Doesn't matter anyway. Next time she sees him, it'll be fine. It'll be better even, with all that's happened. They'll talk then. 

They'll talk then.

-

Erza sits beside her on the river, the one that runs at the bottom of the Hills Complex. She must've seen Juvia from her window, it's right under and close enough.

"Juvia," she says gently. Of course she knows what's wrong.

Juvia buries her face into her shoulder. It's difficult, trying to keep it in. Erza draws her closer, under her arm.

He called her when she got home.

_I'm going away next term. Co-op job. They offered me a place in Avatar._

-

Some things about this world do not make sense. 

Staying with Gray, she was sick. But she was happy.

Without him, she's fine. But she's not happy.

What is sickness if it doesn't maim?

Patience maims. Patience is a sickness, enough in itself.

-

March. Life goes on. He calls her. He might be at a bar. He might be drunk. He hangs up, almost as quick as she picks up.

-

April. Classes end. He calls once, twice, sounding a bit hesitant, but nonetheless to see how she's handling exams.

-

May. Gray should be back, but work wants to keep him on for a while longer. He explains this over text.

-

June. She quits Phantom. Starts taking over Cana's shifts at Fairy Tail when she goes off on vacation with her dad. 

-

July. Of all the times she calls, of the few times he's been able to pick up— this time he does, he does it on the first ring. He seems just as he usually is on the phone, gloomy and tired, indifferent because of all the work he's been doing. 

_I want to come visit you_ , she says. _With everyone_. 

_We can come home together._

-

**YEAR THREE**

"This is a nice gym," Juvia says as she steps in, hands behind her back.

Gray wipes at his forehead, jerking around at the sound of her voice. Useless, because he barely even sweats. "Juvia," he says, like he's surprised, like he didn't mention he'd be at the gym before getting to dinner.

"Didn't think Mikage would have this many trees," she continues.

"Is it just you?" He looks behind her. There's no one else at the gym. One of the perks of working at world-renowned company, perhaps. 

"Everyone's at the hotel. They're planning to browse town on the way to the restaurant." 

"And you?"

"I can unpack later."

Gray presses his lips together. 

"I wanted to see you," Juvia says quietly. 

Gray shakes his head. "I was planning on taking a swim. I didn't think you would come."

"You should always assume I want to see you," Juvia smiles, not able to stop herself.

"Oh." Gray shifts on his feet.

"I can join you," Juvia says. 

Gray furrows his brow.

Juvia shrugs, lacing her fingers. "I used to swim all the time. I miss it, actually. A lot."

She doesn't mind that she hasn't brought anything.

-

She strips down to her underwear and leaves her clothes on the locker room bench.

It's good that the pool's empty too. 

She slips into the water and it's shockingly cold, but she submerges herself and resurfaces, raking her fingers through wet hair. It's growing out. 

Her skin's numb, but she takes it as a challenge to pierce through the water again, swimming to the other end. When she gets there, she grabs onto the ledge for a breather, and hears the sound of crashing waves.

They swim in tandem for a while. Like talking, except they're moving. Letting themselves go.

When the water soaks in warm, Juvia goes a few more rounds back and forth before stopping in the middle of the pool, tipping on to her back.

She pumps her chest up to keep afloat, just like how her instructor had taught when she was younger, seven, still scared of drowning. Now she isn't. She could sink and keep sinking without an inch of panic in her. She twitches her limbs, ever so slightly, to tread higher. Her face feels cold with the crisp air. Water caresses against her ears, her cheeks; an unsteadiness that washes over her.

It's even harder to breath when Gray comes up beside her.

They watch the ceiling together. There's a skylight, but it's fading with the sun. The sky blushes as it pulls away.

"Juvia."

It takes her a moment to say, _Mhm?_

"I'll give you an answer when it's all over."

Juvia has to check that she's not drowning. She takes a breath. "When we graduate?"

"Then. Yes."

Silence.

"Let's do a breathing contest," she says, and drops right down.

She sinks and sinks and sinks. Blinks her eyes open and even though it stings, she can see the fuzzy outline of Gray's legs kicking around, frantic maybe, before he lets himself go, dropping down with her.

She grazes the bottom of the pool, skims her feet against the tiles. Crosses her legs and readjusts her weight, so she stays a bit more grounded.

Gray follows. He's so blurry amongst the blue of chlorine. His necklace glitters and drifts in the density surrounding them. He really never takes it off, does he? Juvia would laugh, but she'd lose her breath.

She's not even counting, but Gray seems to be. That's what makes it harder to stay under. He starts to flail upward, gaze caught on her as he does.

Not that it isn't getting difficult. Her chest tightens, so she tries to do the same with her lips, her control. She doesn't want to go up. Her lungs choke out in complaint, and bubbles flutter to the surface. Gray must see, because he comes crashing right back down, just as she coughs open her mouth.

A flurry of bubbles scatter around them as he grabs and pulls her back to the surface. They break through, gasping for their lives.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he snaps, trying to get a proper grip on her.

"I wanted to prove to you that I could wait," she mutters out, throat stinging.

"You—" Gray tenses his shoulders where her arms are rested. They're so close.

"I'm tired," Juvia says. If he closed the gap, they'd be kissing. "But I can wait."

-

At dinner, it's just like old times.

(They sit together, Juvia talks, Gray doesn't, and everyone laughs at something dumb Natsu does.)

Just like old times.

-

Third year starts in newborn Fall, and they spend a lot more time together. No one could know why.

Gray escorts her to class, she does the same for him. They talk about nothing in particular. About everything. People think they're dating, and even though Gray always takes the time to say _they aren't,_ Juvia still blushes and grins, almost maniacally. 

They walk the streets.

They find a cat and want to keep it, so much that they get to talking about moving in together, before the owner catches up to them and thanks them for being sweet to Frosch.

(Juvia considers visiting the pet store anyway, Gray's birthday is coming up.)

They go swimming again.

They spend entire days at the beach, buying popsicles and burning up on the sand. Gray likes to fish, so Juvia watches the water beside him on the dock, dazed, as if sh'es in a dream— until she is, having fallen asleep on his shoulder. 

(He has a paler, untanned splotch from her imprint of her cheek.)

One day, she opens up her email to see that Lyon's sent something. This isn't surprising, they talk from time to time, but she has the read subject line twice before realizing this isn't something about a show he's watched recently, or a funny incident at work.

He's forwarded her a scholarship opportunity that his university's offering. It's perfect in words. About anything else, she would call Gray first, but this— this, she isn't sure about.

-

Lucy's always had life figured out. So she's the one Juvia goes to.

Juvia sits with Lucy on her plush pink couch, toying with the decorative lace coverings. On Lucy's lap, Happy curls up and rumbles against her thighs.

"What do you want, Juvia?" she asks, with her soft, honest smile.

It's not about ambition or goals or anything of the sort. Juvia would never give up what she wanted for a man, but there are the facts— accepting _Lyon's_ offer would mean something. Accepting an overseas opportunity for another four years would mean something. 

And it's not a meteorologist position. It's an offer for weather reporting.

But that goes into an upside: connections. Even though that path isn't what Juvia exactly wants. Even though it sounds good. Even though it sounds perfect, with its wages and boarding and destinations. There's so many pros and cons, Lucy gets confused and actually brings out a notepad to make a list. 

Maybe Juvia's just stubborn. She likes keeping her promises.

Gray left her. She could do the same. They might be in a good place— but there's a part of her that wants to leave him waiting, just as much as she's done the past years.

(If he'd even be willing to wait.)

Juvia's about to say something when a familiar face slams open Lucy's bedroom door, screaming, "Is Juvia gone?"

The girls whip around to stare at a half naked Natsu, struck in place by the automatic answer he's been given.

Juvia blinks. "You said Natsu wanted you to catsit because he was busy," she says slowly.

Natsu snickers, barely nervous, but catches Lucy's trembling gaze (from anger or embarrassment? who knows) and disappears back into the bedroom, mildly intimidated.

" _Lucy_ ," Juvia says.

She's beat red, which is obvious even though she's trying to cover her face with her hands. Happy paws at her gently, like he misses her smile.

"Who in hell," Juvia starts to raise her voice, "brings their cat to a hookup?"

Then they burst out laughing, not caring if Natsu can hear behind the wall that separates them.

-

Juvia promises to not say anything, and _she doesn't—_ but it gets out to everyone anyway, with a single misstep Lucy makes with her words.

It's that night, when everyone finds out, that Juvia tells Gray she's going to go.

-

They step aside, venturing over the window alcove. It's a nice addition to Fairy Tail; a renovation highlight that Kinana was proud to suggest. It's late, almost midnight. The gang always stays past closing hours (but at least Mirajane gets their help in shutting down).

So there's no one close. Everyone is still huddled at their usual table, Gajeel and Levy leading an ill-prepared rendition of a song that's been playing _too_ much on the radio.

Juvia's sits down, leaning against the glass. Behind her, the city sparks with life. She'll be beyond all that in a month.

Why she took so long to tell him, she doesn't know.

"I thought Fiore was what you wanted your whole life."

Juvia's taken aback. She didn't think he'd remember things like that. "I don't know if I can stay here forever. I should open up my options—"

"Nevermind then." Gray crosses his arms. Not matching her gaze.

"I'm sorry for telling you so late," she whispers.

Gray shakes his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You're doing what you want." 

Juvia squeezes the ledge of the alcove seat.

"Lyon's going too?" Gray suddenly asks.

"Yeah. For his own program." Juvia mumbles.

"He'll be with you the whole time?" Gray raises a brow. And for a second, his voice takes on an entirely different tone.

"No," Juvia blinks, "no, I don't think so. But we're— we'll be in the same cities."

"Why is he even doing this?" Gray scoffs. He shakes his head again in disbelief. "I—"

Juvia holds her breath.

"I thought you were happy," Gray bites out.

"I am," Juvia blurts, pushing off her seat.

Gray's shoulders lock up. Behind him, their friends fall into a chorus of song, threaded with laughter. Gray rakes his fingers through his hair, but lets his hand stay there, hiding his face from Juvia's gaze. "Then I'm happy too."

-

She doesn't cry during the meeting with her advisor.

-

She doesn't cry writing out the forms.

-

She doesn't cry during the ride to orientation, with Lyon at her side, yammering on about things she can't seem to absorb.

-

She does cry at the front steps of the university, unable to go in any further. Lyon places a steady hand on her shoulder— but it does nothing. She's not even crying that hard, just sniffling quietly until she isn't; she's choking back sobs and people are staring, entirely concerned.

It's just that— she can't. She can't step in. She doesn't want to transfer into another university that isn't Fiore's, she doesn't want to travel the world doing a shitty job she's never wanted to do. Juvia doesn't even watch the weather channel. She uses the Internet to find the forecast. 

"Are you okay?" Lyon asks, and Juvia scrunches her face in confusion, because she's obviously _not_ , but it also helps with holding everything back.

It's dumb, really. She keeps repeating that in her head. Her whole life, she's cried enough times to count on one hand. 

First: when she broke her wrist due to a scuffle with an distracted biker;

Second: when her best friend dropped her for a vicious clique of popular girls;

Third: when her parents told her they were getting a divorce;

Fourth: that night, running away from Gray's arms only to end up in them;

And lastly: now. Not because of the pain she's feeling, not because of things _others_ have done to her.

But because this was something she chose for herself.

Because all this time, this— _this_ new opportunity seemed right. It was there. It was a chance. But for what? Her feet weigh heavy on the steps of the school she's supposed to be transferring into— but not as much as the facts of her future, if she does go through with it all. 

So Juvia knows. She feels it deep within her heart, as cheesy and romantic as it sounds. 

She loves her friends.

She loves Gray.

She loves Fiore.

And she loves herself, so to hell with this dumbass scholarship. She doesn't want it. She doesn't need it. She already ran away once, for a good reason, and found a place where she was happy. She wasn't lying to Gray. She's happy.

And she's not going to run again.

-

It's a bit embarrassing, going home only to remember that she's sold the place already. So, Juvia gathers up her nerves and goes up a few floors to step in front of Erza's door, who— entirely by coincidence— happens to open the door at the same time.

They both yelp in surprise. Juvia at the uncharacteristic ensemble her friend's wearing (for a date, perhaps?), and Erza— at Juvia's physical presence. Then she grabs Juvia into her arms.

-

She visits Lucy's place, Levy's, Gajeel (who is only a few steps away from Levy) and yes, they all agree that showing up in person is always ten times better than doing it over the phone. 

Except for Natsu, who Juvia had assumed she'd get to soon because he wasn't at Lucy's. He's started to spam her phone with _!!!!!_ texts and a flurry of _ahjfhdksh_ and random memes in between, as is typical of Natsu. So he's happy she's back. Lucy must've told him the news, then.

Gajeel's watering Levy's plant babies as Juvia crouches by Lily's water bowl, scratching him behind the ears. "What are you gonna do now?"

"Hm?" Juvia perks up, and so does Lily when her fingers stop scratching.

"School," Gajeel grunts. "You went through all the transferring shit just to change your mind last minute?"

"Oh. Yeah."

"Not that I wanted you gone," Gajeel mutters, spritzing a succulent.

Lily scampers into the bedroom and leaves Juvia alone on the floor, dropping her fist on her thigh. Gajeel casts a quick look at her, inadvertently spraying the side of the shelf.

"It's good I didn't formally withdraw from the school yet," Juvia murmurs. She'll have to meet with her advisor again. And whoever else to fix this situation, in order for to everything fall back into place.

Gajeel just props back a mini-strawberry pot into place and utters, "Don't think I could ever see you on TV anyway."

Juvia sighs, smiling. "I'd rather be in a lab. Or the field."

Gajeel shrugs. "Okay, Doctor Seuss."

Juvia snorts. "You know he's not an actual doctor? Or a meteorologist with a PhD?" 

Gajeel responds by attacking her with Levy's spray bottle.

-

She hesitates to knock when she comes to his front door. It takes a moment before she does, knowing she wants to see him more than anything.

"Come in!"

So it's unlocked. Typical of Gray. Loose with clothing, loose with security.

Juvia steps in, and it's just like it was a year ago. It's January now. It's been a while. 

She steps into the kitchen, and there he is, washing the dishes. He looks up and stops. Water rushes against his hand, and smatters against the increasingly clean plate. Then he drops it into the sink with a muted thud.

"Hi," Juvia says. 

"You're here," he says, completely factual.

"Yeah. I am." Juvia laughs out of nervousness. "I'm staying."

"What?" Gray asks, faucet still running.

"I— I can't go. I want to stay," Juvia stutters out, "I'm happy here, and I don't want to lose that. I'm not going to give that up—"

Gray silences her by closing the gap between them and wrapping his arms around her. And he _really_ stops her, her and her heart, because he's never done this before and she's never felt this way.

(Simply, what she feels is _home_.)

Juvia wraps her arms around him too, trying not to cry for the sixth time in her life. Her fingers thread through his hair and she buries her face in his shoulder.

"Thank you," he says. And she laughs softly into his chest, her cheeks flushing with joy.

And she thinks: everything will be fine. Whether or not anything changes beyond _this_ , Juvia is fine. She rather have this, more than loneliness across the world. Even though she's waiting, even though it's work, she's truly _with_ him. Whether or not he'll gone one day, she's thankful for this. She won't forget it. What they have, even if it never grows; it means something. It's good enough. 

They don't let go for the longest time.

And then Gray says, "Come live with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ik gray completely ghosted her during avatar but you know what. we deserve an accountable gray. this is an au.
> 
> also ig the years go by the academic calendar (in north america, thats how im writing it), not literally year by year. sorry if it seems off/confusing with how ive propped up the dates.
> 
> aNDDDD. uh i dont know how transferring then FLAKING works so for dramatic reasons, lets just pretend what juvia did was totally normal and chill and reasonable and not a headache for administration. yeah.

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos or a comment! id love to read them :3


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